Now that you know how to graciously RSVP that you can’t attend an event, keep this in mind: different people have varying levels of comfort in attending social events. As a host, don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t attend. Life is too short and people are too precious to get upset about someone not attending a party. Today’s helpful guest post, brought to us by Sally of Wedding Card Message, is full of thoughtful ideas for when you just don’t know what to write in a wedding card!Enjoy: When someone you know, be that a family member, close friend or just an acquaintance is getting married then you’ll probably want to send them a wedding card and maybe some flowers.
Photo:Whether your best friend is about to give birth or you have an elderly relative who is unable to travel, there are many reasons why a close friend or family member wouldn't be able to attend your wedding—especially if you’re hosting your event in a far-flung destination.While it can be difficult to celebrate such an important milestone without all of your nearest and dearest present. However, there are ways to help those who can’t attend feel like they’re experiencing the wedding along with you. Check out these ideas:Invite Them AnywayThere may be some family members or friends who let you know far in advance that they won’t be able to attend. Send them an invitation anyway. Yes, we know it’s an extra expense, but it’s an important gesture.Livestream the CeremonyIf your guests are tech savvy, you can set up a livestream of your ceremony so that they can view the event in real time.
Your videographer may be able to assist you in setting this up, or there are services such as and who specialize in this service.Create a Wedding HashtagMake sure your guests are aware of your wedding hashtag and encourage them to post photos and video from the big day on social media. Those who aren’t able to attend can follow the hashtag and feel like they’re celebrating along with you! Check out our to get started, and to make viewing and sharing the photos a snap!Give a Shout OutIf you and your new spouse are making a thank-you speech during your reception, mention those who were unable to attend your big day.Play a Favorite SongAsk your DJ or band to play a song that makes you think of your family member or friend. It’s subtle, and maybe only you will know the song’s significance, but it’s still a nice gesture.Give Them a CallIf there is an elderly relative who is not tech savvy, it’s a nice gesture to take a moment out of the day to give them a quick phone call and let them send their congratulations. It might be difficult to take the time to call them, but it will certainly be appreciated.Hire the Best Photographer and VideographerYour and will capture the images (both still and moving) that you’ll be able to share with those who couldn’t attend your wedding—so make sure you do your research before hiring these pros.Save Some CakeYou’re probably already freezing the top tier of your wedding cake for your first anniversary, so why not also save a slice for a family member or friend who couldn’t attend. If you’ll be seeing them in the near future, bring them a slice of frozen cake for a sweet memory of the day.Send them a FavorYour friend or family member will be delighted to receive a little gift in the mail from you—and it will help them feel like they actually attended your wedding.Pay a VisitIf a friend or family member cannot attend your wedding due to illness, try to visit them as soon after the wedding as is feasible.
We know of a couple who visited an elderly grandmother on their way to the airport for their honeymoon—a lovely gesture that brightened Grandma’s day.
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Pokemon Go SGPast events. My sibling explicitly told me not to attend the funeral if I even care about her because of some traditon/custom issues which involves the older generations mindset. Does it really matter if I go attend the funeral and then attend the wedding?Does this thing only happen in our asian culture or is it recognised worldwide?Will bad things really happen to the newly wed couple if someone were to attend the funeral then to attend the wedding in a short period of time?Is it a must to follow these customs strictly?.
Well, maybe just apply to direct family members.But you are right too, there's no way she can control anyone from going to the funeral or not. In fact my aunts had already attended the funeral. I think my sibling might already be aware of it.So. How are things going to become? I'm just not too sure, there seems to be too much ambiguity in all these things.She also mentioned the groom side of the family might not be happy about it.
But yet again who's gonna stop anyone from going to the funeral?I just don't know. It's a Buddhist/Taoist (?) custom that when a relative of your passes away, you are supposed to take a period of time off to mourn the deceased. This means no attending of any celebrations, be it New Year's or weddings. In some variations of the custom, you are not even supposed to visit another person's house during the period of mourning.
This is supposed to apply regardless of whether you attended the funeral or not.Does it really matter if I go attend the funeral and then attend the wedding?This is up to you. I'm not religious, but I think the existing relations between you are your family is important.Does this thing only happen in our asian culture or is it recognised worldwide?This is not just a Singapore thing, this also happens in other Asian countries, such as China and Japan.Will bad things really happen to the newly wed couple if someone were to attend the funeral then to attend the wedding in a short period of time?This is regarded as superstition and is up to you to decide.Is it a must to follow these customs strictly?This is entirely up to you. If you attend the wedding and someone who believes in these traditions finds out, more likely than not, they'll be upset that you 'soiled' their wedding.I'm sure that if you tell the host of the wedding that you can't attend because a family member passed away, they will understand your position. Firstly, if your sibling is insistent, then don't spoil his/her wedding day.As for bereavement rituals, it's best symbolized in this manner: if you're required to wear the cloth sleeve patch (带孝), you're 'officially' in mourning.Different dialect groups have different traditions, but in general, all kinship ties is cultural (not religious) & based on the Confucianist 'Five Mourning Grades' (五服) system. In short, all family members & blood relatives who fall into this circle is considered kin.
Married females & their husbands are technically excluded, although Singapore is historically inclusive due to our immigrant culture. I think your sibling dispute is over this.Within this circle, the kinfolk are supposed to wear different-colored mourning patches (to indicate their ties to the deceased). But implementation is no longer as strict even a generation ago: you can temporarily leave the patch at the altar table (after paying respects) before going to work/school; or keep it in your wallet after the funeral; or even incinerate it together with the coffin during the cremation.
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Similarly, close friends who visit the wake can be excused from wearing it (on pretext of bad luck), as long as they leave with the red threads & packaged coins (to ensure a safe journey home).So the mourning observances depend on how strict your elders or clan association are. In my extended families, our guests, in-laws & distant relatives are 'freed' after attending the wake; our close relatives are 'freed' after the funeral (unless it's for a grandparent); thus obliging only my immediate family members to mourn for 49 days. We don't attend any in-law's wedding during this period (it's taboo for both sides), but are more laid-back if the nuptials involve a friend or colleague (it's still polite to check with them first).